OOO INC. DEPARTMENT OF LEAVING

MEMO NO. 0001TO: ALL STAFFRE: LEAVING

Absence is our only product.

Four divisions. One form. A liaison calls you back.

  • 4DIVISIONS
  • $99FROM, PER PKG
  • 0STATUS MEETINGS

FIG. 1 · THE CHAIRMAN, MOMENTS AFTER SOMEONE LEFT.

THE DIRECTORY · PLEASE PROCEED TO YOUR DIVISION

ELEVATOR SERVICES ALL FLOORS · PLEASE DO NOT RETURN TO YOUR DESK

Through an arched doorway: an empty mustard office chair floats on an inner tube down a lazy river, twin water slides and a pirate ship behind it under a striped sunset.
DIVISION 01AQUATIC AFFAIRS

FROM$99/PKG · 4D/3NRETAIL $629

All meetings have been moved to the lazy river.

  • 4 Treasure Cove Water Park tickets. Wave pool, twin 30-ft racing slides, a 516-ft lazy river.

  • 4 days, 3 nights at Westgate Lakes Resort & Spa, Orlando.

  • 7 heated pools, mini golf and a lakeside marina. Key Pool Indicators: up.

Through an arched doorway: an empty mustard office chair parked on the sand facing a striped ocean, a Ferris wheel and wooden coaster on the boardwalk.
DIVISION 02BOARDWALK RELATIONS

FROM$99/PKG · 4D/3N

Unlimited rides. Zero standing meetings.

  • 2 all-day unlimited-ride wristbands to Family Kingdom Amusement Park.

  • 4 days, 3 nights oceanfront at Westgate Myrtle Beach Oceanfront Resort, a 5-minute walk from the park.

  • Lazy river plus Coconut Willy's pool bar. Deliverables: towels.

Through an arched doorway: an empty mustard office chair under a plaid quilt by a stone fireplace in a timber lodge, blue Smoky Mountain ridgelines in the window.
DIVISION 03MOUNTAIN OPERATIONS

FROM$99/PKG · 4D/3NRETAIL $646

The Smokies have been added to the calendar.

  • 4 days, 3 nights at Westgate Smoky Mountain Resort & Water Park. Villas with full kitchens and fireplaces.

  • 4 Wild Bear Falls indoor water park tickets. 60,000 sq ft. Weather is no longer a blocker.

  • 70 acres bordering Great Smoky Mountains National Park. Save now, wait up to 6 months to travel. Filed as an addendum.

Through an arched doorway at the end of a corridor: an empty mustard office chair faces a glowing invented portal of light and abstract coaster loops.
DIVISION 04EPIC PROPORTIONS

FROM$399/PKG · 4 DAYSRETAIL $706

Leave of absence: epic. Five worlds of it.

  • 2 Universal Epic Universe tickets.

  • Free transportation to Universal Orlando from Westgate Lakes Resort & Spa.

  • 4 days, 3 nights, handled by phone. This division only takes calls. Line 1: 1-877-288-7422.

Call Line 1

Universal elements and all related indicia TM & © 2025 Universal Studios. All rights reserved.

DOC. OOO-SOP-4 · HOW IT WORKS

Standard Operating Procedure.

Four steps. No manager signature. The Chairman has already left.

  1. 01

    Select a division

    Pick the trip. Orlando, Myrtle Beach, the Smokies or Epic Universe.

  2. 02

    File Form OOO-1

    Two minutes. No manager signature required.

  3. 03

    Take the call

    An Absence Liaison calls to confirm the details and your dates.

  4. 04

    Be absent

    The desk will be fine. We checked.

or call Line 1: 1-877-288-7422
LINE 1 IS FOR LEAVING 1-877-288-7422 Absence Liaisons are seated and standing by.